We are all born with a perfectly clean slate. It isn’t long, however, before we begin to become aware of perceived shortcomings. It comes as no surprise, then, that as adult trans women we find it so difficult to love ourselves. Louise Hay shows us the importance of loving ourselves and teaches a technique to use to develop that love. She calls it the “mirror technique” and it simply requires that you look into the mirror, into your own eyes, and tell yourself that you love yourself; that you sincerely and deeply love yourself.
Now, initially, this is not an easy thing to do. For one thing you don’t believe it when you say it. Your mind wants to argue about it. It wants to point out all your flaws and remind you of all your foibles and past faux pas. But, gradually, as you practice every day you begin to believe that you are loveable and that you do really and truly love yourself. You form a new habit of self love and respect. You begin to hold yourself differently as you move through your day and you begin to expect to be treated well all the time by whoever you meet. Your confidence level rises. Your renewed unconditional self-love then overflows into all your relationships both intimate and casual and allows you to easily show love and respect for others while judgement and cynicism fall away.
As you practice living your feminine truth you discover that you have to be your own best friend. You have to be able to depend on yourself to pick yourself up when you falter.
You will need to quickly forgive yourself when you err and step back into your confident woman self without hesitation.
Womanhood is not an easy role. A woman might be a rocket scientist but she’s seen superficially first as a woman. We are under a microscope most of the time. We are judged, categorized, and labeled. We are not all pin-up girls. Glamour doesn’t come easily for all of us. We have to work at it, some have to work harder than others. But underneath it all where love lives, beauty shines forth.
It won’t be covered or stifled. Love for self and others is impossible to hide. Like attracts like and love attracts love. It’s the only way to live.
“Just be, right now, here; and breathe. Begin to trust the magic of yourself.” — Nikki Rowe
You can always reach me at Stephanie@transgenderfriendshipclub.com